It would be far more entertaining than the usual adverts that everyone raves about for some reason.
This year’s John Lewis Christmas advert will feature Reform Party leader Nigel Farage offering sanctuary to a family of workshy Syrian refugees, it has emerged.The two-minute advert begins with the trusty xenophobe going about his usual business of distorting statistics and demonising brown people for the minor inconveniences he experiences.
John Lewis’ Chief of Advertising, Simon Williams, said, “As Christmas draws nearer, we see Mr Farage’s character undergo a bizarre metamorphosis.”
“On Christmas Eve, eight Syrians and their donkey turn up on Nigel’s doorstep in the middle of a blizzard.”
“They explain, in broken English, how they lost their home after British troops left Syria in 2025.”
“At first Farage’s instinctive racism kicks in as he quips ‘I see you’ve brought the weather with you’.
“But sensing a great PR opportunity he tells the family: “You can stay for a couple of days, but don’t take the piss.
“And whatever you do, don’t go near the memorabilia room.
“As the group tuck into Christmas dinner, Nigel comes to see the Syrians less as evil spongers and more as human beings, albeit with middle-eastern ancestry.”
Williams continued, “We had a bit of time to fill, so on Boxing Day, there’s a little dramatic twist when Farage discovers one of the urchins has head lice.”
“He’s worried the infestation will spread to his cat, Heinrich, but everything turns out fine when his current girlfriend initiates a delousing program.”
He added, “If people can make an emotional investment in all manner of nonsense we’ve produced over the years, then surely a definitely non-racist Reform Party politician isn’t too much of a stretch.
“It’s like Bear and Hare with a lot less fur and the odd racial slur.”
John Lewis Christmas ad features Nigel Farage taking in a family of Syrian refugees
This year’s John Lewis Christmas advert will feature Reform Party leader Nigel Farage offering sanctuary to a family of workshy Syrian refugees, it has emerged.Gary Stanton (NewsThump)
